River Styx Now Accepts Bitcoin

HADES – Crossing into the Underworld just got a little easier today, as Charon, the ferryman who transports newly deceased souls across the River Styx, announced that he has begun accepting bitcoin.

In the past, loved ones have had to place coins on the mouth or under the tongue of their departed loved ones in order to pay the toll for crossing, however it now appears that those days may be numbered.

“Souls are using cell phones now, brain wallets, some paper wallets,” Charon said. “I even had a guy this morning who tattooed his QR code on his bicep. Dead simple, forgive the pun. And for me it’s much easier than lugging a giant satchel of obols and danake everwhere I go.”

A 19th-century painting by Alexander Litovchenko, also the first documented use of the "Bitcoin accepted" logo.

A 19th-century painting by Alexander Litovchenko – the first documented use of the “bitcoin accepted” logo.

Those who cannot pay the fee, or are perhaps unaware of the revolutionary new currency, will be given a Pentium 4 computer, made to join the Lost Soulz mining pool, and be forced to hash until they are awarded enough btc to cross.


Dying soon?  Pre-register for a seat on Charon’s boat by sending btc to 1MpHqSrpFYsdyzv2YJjwdk9GVUnyueeuRS